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24 August 2013 @ 01:03 am
Who Gets the Girl? [on-going]  

Title: Who Gets the Girl? [Chapter 25]

Players: Yuri, Yoona, Jessica, Hyoyeon, Tiffany, Sooyoung, Taeyeon, Mention of Seohyun, Sunny

Pairing(s): Fail!Yoonsic, Fail!Yoonyul, Fail!Taeny, and Fail!Yulsic

Rating: PG-13 + some language

Genre: AU, Rom-Com Drama-Llama.

Warning(s): I pulverize ships, apparently.

Disclaimer: I don't own Soshi. I don't own anyone, in fact. All Fiction.

Chap. Summary: Yuri’s life is a hot mess.

Author's Notes: I honestly think this is my crack chapter. I’m so sorry. lol.


25- Yuri

Yuri shouldered past Yoona and Jessica, pausing momentarily to take in her barren side of the bedroom along with all the bags and stacks scattered onto the floor. Swallowing a groan, she let the jacket puddle to her feet, too upset to care about the open door or company. So, it’s happening. Life as I know it will never be the same.

She raked a hand through her hair as she hunted for a dressy shirt in the biggest pile of clothes. I can’t believe Jessica’s here. In the flesh. She slept with Seohyun and for all I know, had sex with Yoona, too. And possibly Sunny. She’s laughing at me in my own home. Or...old home.

“What’s with that jacket? You look like my dad.” Sooyoung got out once their laughter subsided.

More giggling followed. Hyoyeon’s included. Damnit, you’re supposed to be on my side.

“Not your dad,” Hyoyeon blurted, tone dubious. “Seohyun’s dad.”

The laughing stopped.

Oh. Hyoyeon IS on my side. Yuri shielded her grin as she recovered a collared short-sleeved blouse from the bottom.

“You visited Seohyun?” Sooyoung asked, incredulous.

“Yeah, we did. And let’s just say...Yuri found herself a little overdressed for the occasion.”

Yuri chanced a glance to the doorway, where Yoona--facing everyone else--held her position stoically. Conversely, Jessica outwardly scrutinized her right back. Direct eye contact. Yuri stood straight up, mustering her measly amount of bravado as she slowly buttoned the shirt. A crooked smirk crawled onto her face and she hoped for the life of her that it looked as douchey as Hyoyeon’s. Jessica simply narrowed her eyes. Dear god, she’s scary.

Hyoyeon's next order gave reason to look away. “Wear boots! You gotta look flashy.”

Sooyoung voice chimed in again. “For what?”

“Yuri here has an interview.”

“She has a what?” Yoona laughed, not bothering to look over her shoulder to the person in question.

“A job interview at a bar across town. That’s where we’re meeting my boss. Seohyun inspired her to go for her own money-making. How else will they pay for their dates?”

The Seohyun part’s a lie. She’d hastily texted the new information to her trophy girlfriend after their cringe-worthy visit. Hyoyeon suggested the new position early that morning. Anything to help a friend.

Yoona sounded less that impressed. “Seems like Yuri has things all figured out.”

“Apparently, sleeping with Seohyun really puts a pep in your step. Isn’t that right, Jessica?

Shiiit,” Tiffany cursed off in the distance.

Yuri slumped onto the foot of the bed, tying the laces of high black boots. Finally, I can sit back and watch someone else squirm.

Jessica didn’t speak. Her glare, however, did all the talking.

“Don’t get mad at me,” Hyoyeon huffed sassily, sauntering around the living room like a charismatic lawyer. “She didn’t give me a second look. I suppose Seohyun’s pre-req for a lady is to sleep with Yoona. And that ain’t happening. I’d kill myself first.”

“Then do it, bitch.” Jessica droned. Yuri shuddered at her tone.

“So defensive. Just askin’--what possessed you to go for it? Is Sunny not enough for you?”

“Don’t listen to her, Yoongie.” Jessica hissed to Yoona, arms casually wrapping around her waist. Yuri seethed at the sight. How long has this been going on?!

To her relief, the embrace wasn’t reciprocated.

“I...have to think about this.”

“Yoona...”

The taller girl rubbed her temples, voice low and unsteady. “Of...of all the people, Jessica. Her? God, I can’t look at you right now.”

“Please, stop being mad at me.”

Yuri used this as an opportunity to effectively push between them to exit the room. “Excuse me.”

She heard a “bitch” from Jessica’s direction, but ignored it.

Hyoyeon wolf whistled, eyes dancing up and down. “Lookin’ good, mama! Jeong-ho loves him a well-dressed lady.”

Omigod, no!”

Yuri nearly forgot about Tiffany, who was now scrambling to her feet, snatching her purse and an armful of posters. My posters. What the--?

“This can’t be happening,” Tiffany whined, staring down at her phone the whole time. “Jess, we need to go.”

Jessica’s brow crinkled with concern. “What’s wrong?”

“I just received a delayed text. By two hours--damnit! Boa wanted me to show up like thirty minutes ago.”

“Boa?”

“I’ll tell you on the way there.”

“Can’t it wait a little longer? You’re already late.”

Her appalled face froze for a second. “You’re mean, Jessi. I’m leaving. Now.”

“Well, let me get my--”

Tiffany snatched the keys from the floor and dashed across the room. She hastily bowed at everyone before shutting the door behind her.

“--keys.”

The event slowly registered in Yuri’s brain. “Did she just make off with my prints?! I paid a lot for those.”

“You’re never gonna see ‘em again,” Sooyoung replied with a smirk, hugging Yuri’s favorite panda. My stuffed animal. My prints. My ex. These girls are vultures.

A hushed argument in the bedroom doorway snatched Yuri’s attention. It involved a lot of please’s and don’t’s and hand flailing. Eventually, Jessica ended the squabble with a “Fine. I’ll go. See you in the office tomorrow?”

Yoona nodded and Jessica shot Yuri a sly grin as she went in for a hug.

Bitch, bitch, evil bitch!

Albeit, she was no longer grinning when the screech of burned rubber on pavement alerted them of one thing: Tiffany left.

“The hell?!” The blonde ran to a window and peered at the driveway. “That BITCH. She stole my car!”

She dug an iPhone from her purse and dialed. “Oh, so you’re not answering your phone either? I hope you drive off a cliff.” There's a voicemail worth remembering.

Silence filling the room could only be broken by Hyoyeon's succinct observation.

“Americans are cah-razy.

...

Yuri hugged a duffle bag full of clothes to her chest, watching the cars whizz by as Hyoyeon weaved through traffic.

“Just be yourself.” Hyoyeon eyed herself in the rear view mirror, pulling the scrunchie from blonde locks. “Scratch that--act really confident.”

“I can do that.”

Hyoyeon dragged her fingers into her hair to even it out. “Speak loudly. Short sentences.”

“Got it.”

“Don’t ask why he’s so sweaty. That guy’s always sweaty.”

“I wasn’t planning on it...”

“Laugh at all his asshole jokes.”

“Fake amusement. Got it.”

“Undo the top two buttons on your shirt. He likes a view.”

Yuri hesitated, but eventually released two snaps, adjusting her boobs to look more appealing.

“That’s a good girl. He’ll probably give you the job at first glance.”

“Your boss sounds disgusting,” an annoyed voice grumbled from the backseat.

Yuri clenched her teeth at the words.

Hyoyeon spoke instead. “Shut up, back there! This is the life of a club promoter.”

Jessica laughed mockingly, perched between two columns of Yuri’s many high top shoe boxes. “A club promoter. Could you get any slimier?”

Yuri covered her smile with the duffle bag. I do feel pretty dirty going for this job. Money’s money.

“Yuwree~yah, you can do so much better than this.”

She buried her face to hide a stretched-out smile. A blush, too.

“How dare you Yuwree~yah her!” the other blonde roared. “She’s not your next floozy, you scoundrel!”

Yuri raised an eyebrow at Hyoyeon. Floozy? Scoundrel?

Hyoyeon shrugged.

I’m beginning to see why Yoona and Seohyun fell for this Jessica character. She has a super-cute face and tons of attitude. How can I compete with that? Her mere essence spreads everywhere. By essense, she meant fragrance. The sweet aroma wafted throughout the entire car.

“Dammit, woman. Do you bathe in perfume?!” Hyoyeon spat, cracking a window.

“I’m not wearing perfume. I just smell this nice.”

Cute and funny. Am I purposely funny? Damn this girl.

Hyoyeon pounded her fist on the steering wheel. “Fuck, I wanna punch you in the teeth.”

I think Hyo likes her, too.

“You didn’t have to give me a ride home.”

Another one of Hyo’s ideas. After Tiffany’s spur-of-the-moment exit, she considered it the best opportunity to chew into Jessica without Sooyoung and Yoona around for protection. It’s not really working...

“I’m not taking you home. I’m driving your ass to the bar. You can find someone to pick you up there.”

“Whatever. I could use a drink.”

...

“Another shot, pleeease,” Jessica cooed at the blushing bartender. He quickly refilled her glass with a pungent clear liquid before tending to a newly-arrived group of yuppies.

“Is that your fourth shot?” Yuri questioned, legs bouncing nervously as she waited for Hyoyeon to return with Jeong-ho. Apparently, the interview was a last-minute thing, so she still had to shmooze him up before he even bothered to meet her. Until that time, she babysat drunk Jessica.

Wooooww! You can count to four. Yoona taught you well, Yuuuuwree~yaaahhhh.” She downed the shot and giggled mercilessly.

“Very funny. I think you’ve had enough.”

“Fuck you. I’m thirsty. Sad. Lonely...Perfect combination to get smashed.”

“Hey, beautiful.” A yuppie slithered over, leaning onto the counter. “I’ve never seen you ‘round these parts.”

“Are youuuu a cowboy or something?.”

“Mind if I buy you a drink?”

Ugh. Yuri cautiously placed a hand onto Jessica’s shoulder. “Scram, douchebag. She’s with me.”

She prayed that Jessica would remain quiet until the guy left. The second he was out of earshot, Jessica burst into a long, hysterical chortle. “Ohhhhh look! My prince is here to protect meee.”

“Shhh. Chill out.” She felt her face getting hot.

Jessica’s eyes narrowed at the hand on her shoulder, then to Yuri’s face. “You’re blushhhhing.”

Speed it up, Hyo! “No, I’m not.”

“Yesh you areeee. Does drunk, vulnerable Jesshhhka turn you on?”

Yuri craned her neck to spy on Hyoyeon in the booth. Her blonde head was still bobbing in conversation with the beefy balding man.

“Do NOT. Do NOT ignore me, Yuwwwreee~yaaahhh. Don't you think I’m pretty? Yoona sure does.”

“You should get home.” Why am I wasting my time protecting this crazy woman? Yuri tapped at her phone to send a text.

“Your arm’s still around me, Prince Yuuuuuwwreee~yaaaahhh.”

Blushing harder, she snatched her hand away and typed. +Taeyeon. Plz come pick up Jessica from this bar. She said that it’s only 3 streets awy from her apartmnt. I’ll attach the address. Hurry.


Jessica managed to attain another drink while she was busy Googling the address.

“Jessica. You shouldn’t drink any more. Give me that.” She reached for the fruity high glass drink.

“Noooo! The bartender made it for me special.”

Yuri rolled her eyes at the guy behind the counter winking their way. “God, I miss Sooyoung.”

“I knowwww right!? She’s so hawwwwt. That’s why I kished her.”

“Shut up. You didn’t kiss Sooyoung.”

Jessica sipped at her drink, raising her eyebrows suggestively.

Bzzz!! Yuri rushed to check the message from Taeyeon.

+B ther in a f5ew. Cab cab cab.

Well, that’s a strange text.

“Yuuuwwwreee~yahhhh. My fair prince of the vaginas. Are you talking to Seohyunnn?”

“No.”

“Awwww. Pity. I wanted to say hey.”

Poor Seohyun. We had to leave her with her angry mother; I can’t help but feel awful about that.

Ten painfully uncomfortable minutes later, Taeyeon showed up, walking in an unnaturally careful manner towards them.

It wasn’t until the girl wriggled onto a barstool that Yuri could tell. She’s drunk too?! Fuck my life.

The blonde frowned. “You smell like wine. Have you been drinking my wine?”

“Tiffany broke up with meeee!” Taeyeon cried, face already shiny with tears.

Jessica gasped, letting the straw messily pop from her lips. “What? Whyyyy?

YOU. That’s why! She’s mad about the ffffookin' ‘married by thirty’ thing. I WANT BEER.” The bartender slid a glass her way. Yuri wished she could kill him with her scowl.

“Oh that? She’s so paranoid.”

“Shut up! She sent me this text that...” Taeyeon fiddled with the smartphone, holding it like cave person would. “My fingers aren’t letting me type. But she...she sent a break-y uppy text.”

“That’s a dumb reason to break up.”

“Youuuu are a dumb reason! You with your...dumb face and...” she looked down at Jessica’s shirt, eyes growing, “your dumb boobs!”

“Youuuur face is dumber than mine!”

“Nuh uhhhh.”

“Yes huuuhhh.”

Yuri peered around the afternoon crowd, attempting to throw out a reassuring smile. “Shhhh! Girls. Simmer down, it’s only--”

Jessica slid delicate fingers along Yuri’s arm. “Prince Vagina, who has the dumber face?”

I do. Because everyone here is giving me the judgmental evil eye.

“It’s obviously you, Taeyeon.”

Now that we’re talking about it... “Taeyeon. What happened?”

A side of her face showed off a bright pink mark, puffy eye, and a bandage covered the corner of her lip. The girl raised a hand along her cheek and flinched.

“I got my ass kicked by Hit-Girl.”

The blonde laughed way louder than necessary. Yuri quickly shushed her. “Jessica, you’re making a scene.”

“Like thiiiisss?” Jessica threw her head back and fake-moaned so loudly that Yuri bit her tongue. “Yooooonaaaa. Yooonaaaaaa. Ohhh yessss, Yooooooonaaaa!!

Taeyeon, finding this hilarious, joined in the chant. “Yoooonaaaaaa. All ova mah bodayyy Yoonaaaa!

Yuri panicked, grabbing onto Jessica’s shoulders to yank her into a tight hug. “Please, please shut up.”

“Ohhhhhh daayum.” Taeyeon snorted, gulping more beer.

“Yuuuuwwreee~yaaaah,” the girl mumbled against her neck, “Did you know that mah nickname’s Princess?”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Which meeeansss...” Their faces were now centimeters apart. Yuri could smell the fruity alcohol on her breath as she hissed, “you and I should get married so we can be king and queen. Or queen and queen. Which do youuu prefer?”

Yuri gulped. “Uh...”

Jessica’s eyes locked on hers. A sensual, devious smile planted on her lips. Okay, brain. What’s happening here?

Is this a sign from the universe?

Her eyes flicked down at Yuri’s mouth, then back into their initial gaze. So cute. Should I...what should I...?

“Yuuuuuwwwreee.” She puckered her lips.

She didn’t wait for Jessica to get any closer. Yuri closed her eyes forward to capture those flirty lips. Instead, she caught nothing but air when the body flinched from her grasp. She lifted her eyelids to view Jessica, head recoiled with a look of disgust. What...what...?

“OH MAH GAWD. Taeyeonniee! Yuri tried to kish me!” Jessica wailed in drunken giggles.

“Dayum. Girl’s so thirrrrsssttyyyy!!”

Yuri covered her face, already thoroughly ashamed until one more thing piled onto the embarrassment.

Duuuude!” Hyoyeon’s voice rung out.

Oh no. She didn’t see, did she? Yuri removed the hands from her face to see Hyoyeon standing there, hands on her hips.

Yeah, she saw.

“Shit, woman. I left you here for twenty minutes and you’re ready to play tonsil hockey with the woman who stole our women?! You need professional help.”

“But-but,” Yuri stuttered, words fumbling out guiltily, “she started it!”

“Are you five?! Jessica’s drunk as hell! What kind of excuse is that?”

Why is this happening to me? “I...don’t know.”

“Jeong-ho’s ready to chat. Get over there before I see you climbing on a pole next.”

This day couldn’t get any worse. Yuri slowly slid off the clair.

“And fix your blouse, woman. I can’t see your boobs anymore!”

The tanned girl poked her lip out in a pout while she adjusted her shirt. “What about them?”

“Don’t you worry. I’ll call Seohyun and beg her to pick them up. I’m sure she wants to escape her four hundred-year-old mom-i-nator.” Hyoyeon gave her one more full body check before stepping away to make the call on Yuri’s phone.

Yuri looked over at the two drunken friends. Taeyeon’s laughing had converted to hysterical sobs into her beer. Jessica, however, sat up straight, staring her dead in the eye. Glassy eyes a mix of intoxication and something...disturbingly aware.

She spoke softly. For Yuri’s ears only.

“You’ve been royally played by the Princess. You’re no prince, Yuri-yah.”

Next Chapter:  Jessica!

This isn't relevant, but anathema_switch linked me to these awesome gifs. They're SO WGTG Seohyun.

[Sassy Seohyun]



 
 
Current Mood: bitchybitchy
Current Music: f(x)- 피노키오(Danger)
 
 
 
checkinyourbracheckinyourbra on August 24th, 2013 05:26 am (UTC)
SPOT SPOT SPOT for parachuterawr.

I hope I did that right.
whyyyyyyyparachuterawr on August 31st, 2013 07:36 am (UTC)
OHHH YESH YOU DID IM JUST SO LATE AS F***KKKK

*squealing over my spot ^^

ahhhh my bitch love face Jessi

I just smirked at everything. DRUNK TAENGSIC ftw
(no subject) - checkinyourbra on September 1st, 2013 02:58 am (UTC) (Expand)
the_bluebeariesthe_bluebearies on August 24th, 2013 05:39 am (UTC)
WHAT??
tiffany broke up with Taeyeon? WHAT?? WHY!???!!?

*thunders and lightnings*

and seriously, yuri, what were you doing with jessica? sigh.
checkinyourbra: yuri01checkinyourbra on August 26th, 2013 01:59 am (UTC)
Re: WHAT??
....is my throat in danger?

Omg can you wield nature like Sunny, too!?!? D:

Yuri is....yeah. lol

Thanks for reading, bb!! *gets neck protection*
Re: WHAT?? - the_bluebearies on August 26th, 2013 03:46 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: WHAT?? - checkinyourbra on August 27th, 2013 12:29 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - checkinyourbra on August 26th, 2013 02:03 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Anonymous) on August 24th, 2013 06:20 am (UTC)
Had to comment!
silent reader for forever but that last line by jessica deserves a comment: Jessica's a fuckin bitch and i loveeeeeeee it ^_^
checkinyourbra: jessica01checkinyourbra on August 26th, 2013 02:04 am (UTC)
Re: Had to comment!
*does silent reader tribal dance* YES, YES. Reveal yourself!!

Yessssssss isn't evil!Jessica perfect?! I love it, too.

Thanks so much for dropping a comment! Come back soon~~
 a.C.: yuri with capplanet_ac on August 24th, 2013 07:03 am (UTC)
but why are you apologising? i like crack. this chapter is great! oooh...all couples fail! i'm laughing so hard i can hardly type! for a very fleeting moment, i smelled YulSic when i thought they were about to kiss, but no, Jessica's just playing Yuri for a royal fool. ah crap, you just crushed my hopes for a YulSic quickie. and hyo's a scream, as always. i suppose getting taeyeon to come get yuri wasn't such a great idea after all. drunk!taeyeon and drunk!jeshka, lol, i think yuri's got her hands full.

thanks for this! jessica next update? cool :)
checkinyourbra: yuri01checkinyourbra on August 26th, 2013 02:11 am (UTC)
I....IDK. I was so afraid that I didn't rein it in enough. :| Didn't wanna derail the story. haha I'm soooo happy that you liked it! Omg you laughed that hard!? That melts my heart in so many ways. :')

Ohhhh right. You would be sniffing out some Yulsic. Hope you enjoyed! Bahaha >:D Who knows--they may interact again~~

Bringing in drunk!Taeyeon is ALWAYS a good idea.

Thank youuuuu for enjoying my cray. ^^ ♥
dyestaindyestain on August 24th, 2013 07:14 am (UTC)
There's so much going on here, but I have to go out now so I'm going to spaz when I get back!
dyestaindyestain on August 24th, 2013 02:11 pm (UTC)
Okay so my main thought through all this was "YURI WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK". Seriously, what is this girl doing?? Poor bb needs to think things through for once haha

Hyo is the sass master. Everyone else can sit the fuck down because Hyo's got this shit (and I love you for writing her as such).

I always feel kind of bad for Yoona because it really just seems like she just ends up with shit luck and the people around her making bad decisions. She's not my favourite character by a long shot, but I still feel for her which just goes to show your writing talent!

As much as I don't agree with a few of Jessica's decisions, she's so persistent and damn she does bitch than anyone else. I really hope you have some mega bitch!Jessica planned where she tolerates zero shit from anyone (... Taeyeon and/or Tiffany hahaha)

Do you have a plan of how long this is going to go on for? Anything planned for after this? (I just really love your writing style and your plot planning ahhh)

Looking forward to the next chapter ;)
(P.S - this cheered me up massively, thank you!! <3 )
(no subject) - checkinyourbra on August 26th, 2013 02:16 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dyestain on August 27th, 2013 02:35 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - checkinyourbra on August 28th, 2013 05:37 am (UTC) (Expand)
I la- la- la- love youregreted on August 24th, 2013 08:07 am (UTC)
Spottkng and dayum, i love jessica
checkinyourbracheckinyourbra on August 26th, 2013 02:17 am (UTC)
Jessica should be loved. Always.

*hugs*

missyoubtw :3

Edited at 2013-08-27 05:45 am (UTC)
(no subject) - regreted on August 28th, 2013 05:35 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - checkinyourbra on August 28th, 2013 07:21 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Anonymous) on August 24th, 2013 09:02 am (UTC)
NOOO YURI HAHA SO AMOUROUS!! The pairings had me chortling heh everyone's broken :( looking forward to see the reasons for their breakups! Anyway is there ever a chance of yoonyul together again! Gosh
checkinyourbra: yuri01checkinyourbra on August 26th, 2013 02:20 am (UTC)
HAHAHA Yuri's in a constant battle with brain and body. We all know what's winning right now.

Broken, indeed. :(

So, I sat at my laptop for a minute, deciding how to answer this Yoonyul question because Troopers lurk at every corner , so I'll just say...that they will be in contact again. haha

Thank youuuuuu for reading. XD
Yoon Hyunmsgrimreaper16 on August 24th, 2013 09:06 am (UTC)
oh shit
That Jessica is a fucking bad ass. Poor puppy Yuri :C How could you tease us with RF like that T___T OMG i'm jumping ships left and right. You don't just pulverize ships, you create them so wonderfully--then pulverize them! You're evil :C I did NOT see that coming. at.all. UGh.
Yoon Hyunmsgrimreaper16 on August 24th, 2013 09:13 am (UTC)
Re: oh shit
Dude. Jessica can get with anybody. This is proof! Now if we only know who she really wants...
Re: oh shit - checkinyourbra on August 26th, 2013 02:26 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: oh shit - msgrimreaper16 on August 26th, 2013 02:34 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: oh shit - checkinyourbra on August 26th, 2013 03:25 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: oh shit - msgrimreaper16 on August 26th, 2013 05:48 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: oh shit - checkinyourbra on August 27th, 2013 12:31 am (UTC) (Expand)
stephanstarr on August 24th, 2013 09:11 am (UTC)
WOW SERIOUSLY MAN, EVERYONE'S HOOKING UP!

WHY AM I NOT IN THIS FIC? WHY AM I NOT HOOKING UP WITH ONE OF THEM?!?!!!!
Yoon Hyunmsgrimreaper16 on August 24th, 2013 09:12 am (UTC)
*LIKE*
(no subject) - checkinyourbra on August 26th, 2013 02:28 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - checkinyourbra on August 26th, 2013 02:27 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - stephanstarr on August 26th, 2013 07:02 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - checkinyourbra on August 27th, 2013 12:32 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - stephanstarr on August 27th, 2013 11:30 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - checkinyourbra on August 28th, 2013 05:38 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - msgrimreaper16 on August 27th, 2013 02:41 am (UTC) (Expand)
yuukistar22yuukistar22 on August 24th, 2013 11:13 am (UTC)
Girl boners, girl boners everywhere
Am I too late for a good spot? Fuck it, I'll say it anyway.

SPOT

Edit:

SURPRISE I'M BAAAAACK~ *jumps out of stripper cake*

I literally waited up last night/this morning for this update but I fell asleep and missed it, hence why i'm so laaaaaate. I'M SO USELESS!

Oh snap Jessica is such a bitch, i love her....how many times have i said that? Man, i sound like a broken record but uuuuuurgh she's so god damn amazing *cue fangirl scream*

I feel a disturbance in the force with BoA now in the picture and getting Tiffany getting involved. A bad feeling I have hmmmmm. *sorry, couldn't resist the Yoda voice*

Hyoyeon's pep talk for Yuri's interview is so motivating. She knows how to get shit done right. I would so love a pep talk from her. Holy crap, is my Hyoyeon falling for Sexica as well? Damn that woman has some powerful aura. Though, who could resist? Sica pulls you in like a...ermmm...like a....sexy octopus. Yeah, let's go with that. Octopi can be sexy right? RIGHT?!

Okay so that adds another sexy animal into the mix. Now we have a sexy chameleon AND a sexy octopus. I am not determined to characterise all characters with an appropriate animal. I need time. I shall present my conclusions in the next update.

Oh god and when i thought drunk Jessica couldn't get any better, drunk Taeyeon strolls in and makes things 1,000,000 times better. Holy fuck. Drunk SoShi is best SoShi.

Correct me if im wrong but is Yuri...I mean prince vagina falling for Jessica? Hmmmm, interesting.

MY TAENY?! D: WHY DOES EVERYTHING I LOVE DIE?! Worst. Day. Ever. Tis okay though, the drunken duo made it better, so much unbelievably better omg.

I laughed really REALLY unattractively at Jessica's spaztastic nickname for Yuri, my mother gave me the biggest 'duh fuck dude' looks EVER....worth it. I am always going to refer to Yuri as Prince Vagina from now on and now i can't look at her the same way anymore without the image. And then I got the image of Yuri pole dancing. *Sigh* once a perv, always a perv ;)

So Hyoyeon says vagina prince needs professional help....then what help could Hyoyeon get for such the big player she is? Hopefully none, i don't want her to change her player ways....unless she changes for Sunnybunny.

This is possibly one of my favourite chapters ever *throws boob shaped confetti*

Can't wait for the next fabulousness, luff you bb.

Byeeeeeeee~ <3

P.s. I've always wondered, but do you have a favorite SoShi member?

P.s.s This comment is just continuing to grow since i keep coming back and adding to it. WHY CAN'T I HOLD ALL THESE FEELS?

P.s.s. How did the YoonYul fanfic contest go? Are the results out yet? I bet you won you saucy little minx you.

Edited at 2013-08-24 11:49 pm (UTC)
checkinyourbra: jessica01checkinyourbra on August 26th, 2013 02:41 am (UTC)
Re: Girl boners, girl boners everywhere
Omg bb when I saw your name popping up on LJ, I got sooooo excited. :DDDD

You jumped from a stripper cake?! NOW THE FUN CAN REALLY START. You weren't that late. It's all good. I STILL LOVE YOUR SPOT/COMMENT.

Hehehe is WGTG Jessica getting screaming fangirls now? I'm sure she'd appreciate it. She should get overly drunk more often.

YODA REF. ♥ And idkkkkkk is BoA ticking off bad feels? SHOULD YOU BE WORRIED?

Hyo could save lives with such motivational talks. JESSICA'S AURA IS SO POWERFUL THAT I'M FORCED TO BOW DOWN TO MY LAPTOP BEFORE TYPING. And then I make bad things happen to her. tehee Jess the sexy octopus. Octopus. Octopussss. Octopussy. Omg I'll stop. Every character will get a special animal? I look forward to this. :D

"Drunk SoShi is best SoShi."--Agreed. I'm prettyyyy sure I've said something similar on one of their IGs. lol

Yeaaaahhh TaeNy. Just another thing to pile on the list of dramaz. lolll At least we were entertained with drunkenness.

Hahahahaha I lol'd while writing the "Prince Vagina" parts. Oh, so much fun.......hehe pole dancing. *fellow perv grin* Will Hyo change? We shall see.

Omg boob confetti. I wonder if they sell that around here....

LUFF YOU, TOOOOOO ♥

ps01: I love all of soshi, so my biases change sometimes. Current: Seolady.
ps02: It's all good bb. I love hearing from you. DON'T HOLD THE FEELS. LET IT GOOOO~~
ps03: Nahhhh I didn't place. Got 5th...which gives no free swag. Siiiiigh. Maybe next time. :D The winners were great, tho.
exp_ithetaexp_itheta on August 24th, 2013 12:47 pm (UTC)
Noooooooo~ I am laaaaaaaaate. Your updates always seem to coincide with my problem set marathons, haha. I'll be back for the proper comment in a bit. This chapter is giving me a lot of Yuri thoughts. Hmmm.

/edit: Okay I'm back with the actual comment~

1. All the "fail"s in the pairings section of this chapter's header really scared me for a moment. But it turns out that most of them aren't "failed" to the same irreversible extent as Yoonyul. Phew!

2. For some reason, I didn't think this chapter was crack-y at all. O_O Am I missing something? The tone was a lot more sober than I expected. I felt that the insanity came mostly from Jessi, Tae, and Hyo.

I actually expected Yul's thoughts would be all the place and more than a little crazy given her ridiculous antics in the previous chapters, but her POV just sounded...disturbingly sane. I honestly thought the characterisation was a little off at first...


Edited at 2013-08-24 06:14 pm (UTC)
exp_ithetaexp_itheta on August 24th, 2013 06:18 pm (UTC)
I'm so long-winded that I've exceeded the character count. I JUST HAVE A LOT OF YURI THOUGHTS OKAY!
3. ...BUT THEN! I THOUGH ABOUT IT AND REALISED THAT YOU'RE PERFECT HOW COULD I HAVE DOUBTED YOUR CHARACTERISATION PLEASE FORGIVE ME AND ACCEPT THESE JELLYBEANS OFFERINGS!

Ahem, I mean, I went back and reviewed some of the older chapters, and realised that the characterisation was consistent all along. :DDDDD

Despite the general nuttiness of the situations she lands/finds herself in, Yuri isn't really a nutty character. This is in contrast to characters like Taeyeon and Tiffany, whose thought processes are just plain weird, but have thus far avoided complicated drama on the scale of the SeoYulYoonSicSunHyo clusterfuck.

From what I see, Yuri is pretty much an id-driven character. She follows what her instinct tell her, so she has a problem keeping it in her pants and ends up complicating her personal life. The situation with Jessica she found herself in in this chapter is a case in point. Even her freak-out over Yoona wanting to get married can be seen as a manifestation of her "fight or flight" instinct.

Which brings me to my next point: Yuri is also quite the craven. She doesn't assert herself very much, and when faced with a sticky situation, she either "flees" or just takes it. Her "affair" with Seohyun can be seen as her way of running away from facing the problem of deciding whether or not to marry Yoona, and she's pretty much resigned to being kicked out at the beginning of this chapter. If Hyoyeon is the embodiment of wit, and Sooyoung the embodiment of empathy and sanity, then Yuri is the embodiment of passivity and insecurity.

(Tangent: The above makes it really hard for me to imagine Yuri being the dominant party in her relations(hip) with Yoona,haha, Not that I'm trying of course. Ahem.)

Anyway, I guess the reason Yuri ends up in really fail situations despite her general hesitance to act is that when she does act, she doesn't really think it through. When she's forced into a situation where she has to do something, she either does things without thinking (which brings us back to her being an id-driven character), or does what other characters tell her to. In the latter case, there is also a distinct absence of evaluation before she simply follows like a puppy. An example would be how she pretty much follows every piece of Hyo's dubious advice, LOL. To put it bluntly...she isn't very bright, is she?

Okay, I think that's it. This chapter really gave me an epiphany on Yuri's character, who was really starting to get cartoon-ish as of the last two chapters.

4. Other observations on Yuri: Yuri raking her hands through her hair totally reminds me of her airport pictures a few days ago. And omg, "prince of vaginas". I see what you did there...:B So you lurk there too...hmm.

5 Other characters:
Seohyun--I suppose Seohyun’s pre-req for a lady is to sleep with Yoona. This line had me thinking YoonHyun thoughts...Mm...Steamy Yoonhyun tho-- *gets slapped for being a gigantic perv*
Tiffany & Taeyeon--one is a (car) thief and possibly jobless, the other is a terrible drunk and possibly girlfriend-less. All in a days' work. They are still so ridiculous. The day they stop being ridic is the day I will eat my shoe.
Jessica--is apparently a lady magnet and definitely not a woman to be crossed. And, wow, this is going to end up being a Jessica harem, isn't it? Who gets the girl indeed. ^^
Yoona & Sooyoung--are still the only sane people in the room. I am still praying hard for endgame Yoonsic. (I know you pulverise ships...which is why I'm also praying for that Jessica harem as Plan B).
Hyoyeon--is my favourite forever and ever and ever~~~~!!! *runs through the streets waving Hyoyeon flag* I'm not sure she's the wisest counsel for Yuri to keep though...LOL

Okay, that's it. :) Thank you so much for another great chapter! <3 <3 I'm so stoked for Jessica's chapter!!! Bye~ *disappears in a puff of Jessica essence*
(no subject) - exp_itheta on August 26th, 2013 11:25 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - checkinyourbra on August 27th, 2013 12:35 am (UTC) (Expand)
mchanixmchanix on August 24th, 2013 01:09 pm (UTC)
I have to say, after so many chapters and how the characters developed (or how they have acted so far, as they go deeper into the story) Hyoyeon is turning out to be my favrite character. I didn't like her before, but wow, she's no joke. : ) she's totally my favorite character now!
Jessica, on the other hand.. I'd say she's the one who needs "professional help", hahah. This woman is evil. Poor Yuwreeee-yah!! Let there be justice hoho : )

one chapter is never enouuugghhh *heart attack*
checkinyourbra: yuri01checkinyourbra on August 26th, 2013 03:05 am (UTC)
Why, hello there!!! :D

Hyoyeon has that effect, I suppose. You start out like, "hmmm" and then she grows and grows until she has a witty little spot in your heart. >:D

Hahahaha ohhh, Jessica. Evil!Jessica needs no help!! Justice for Yuwreeee~yaaahh? We'll see.

I'm writing/editing as fast as I can, bb!! A chapter every 4-5 days seems to be my best pace. :D

Thank youuuuuu~~~
sonyuhshigay: Taeyeonsonyuhshigay on August 24th, 2013 01:28 pm (UTC)
Aahhh! Okay, so I'm sorry I haven't been commenting on these past few entries. I just moved to Korea, so things are very hectic! But I'm still reading and I still love you!!
checkinyourbra: yuri01checkinyourbra on August 26th, 2013 03:07 am (UTC)
WHAT? You live in Korea now?!?! COOL.

How's it feel breathing SoShi-purified air?

Sooooo happy to hear from you. Have as much fun as possible!! ^___^

Yaaayyyy for you finding the time to read/comment. You're the best. :3
astrantiapetalsastrantiapetals on August 24th, 2013 11:39 pm (UTC)
Those sassy seohyun gifs are so cute ^_^

Once again, amazing update I loved every second! Hyo is so witty, I really enjoyed her dialogue.

Thanks for writing!
checkinyourbra: seohyun02checkinyourbra on August 26th, 2013 03:09 am (UTC)
ISN'T SEOHYUN SUCH A PRESH FACE?!! Even while sassy. *love-struck sigh*

That means so much coming from youuuu. Thankssss. Hyo is such a crowd favorite lately. Her wit is needed in this whirlwind of crazy lolll.

Thanks for reading :DDD ♥