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19 June 2015 @ 12:02 am
Skandl! [24]  

Title: Skandl! (Chapter 24)

Pairing(s): TaengSic, side!YulTi

Rating/Genre: PG-13 + Language; AU Idol Romance

Warning(s): Opposite of yes.

Disclaimer: I don't own Soshi. I don't own anyone, in fact. All Fiction.

Author's Notes: A longish chapter again. Between Jessica and Soshi’s shoots, my eyes are thoroughly assaulted. That’s my excuse for any errors. #selfbeta

Twenty-four: Taeyeon


“My shining stars!”

Taeyeon flinched at Dong-gun’s jovial outburst. Sunny colored in time for him to string a long arm around her shoulders. Her eyes darted from Yuri to Taeyeon.

Sarcastic or creepy?

Truthfully, Dong-gun had been animated since Andy Lim’s big annual dinner at his estate. Flanked by bountiful opulence--relics from theatre history, an original Shakespeare copy--Taeyeon felt tiny. And even tinier when she sucked up the courage to pull Lim aside.

The CEO, white in hair and wide of shoulder, listened carefully to her plea against the image overhaul. They’d do better, she promised.

Lim was an understanding, tolerant, risk-taking man. However, as the surroundings illustrated, he loved money. When Lim Theatrics exploded in popularity, he swore against poaching reject trainees. Employees accumulated, stage sets were drowned in gold, and a batches of less problematic acts signed contracts in black ink. He’d lost sight of his vision, she’d argue. Never to his face, though.

At the end of her appeal, which he digested for five full minutes, Lim answered, “You’ve had an eventful year.”

Unplanned “Love Cut Open” changes. Bad interviews. Broken curfews. Minah and Sunny. Tardiness. Gay rumors. Yuri’s drug scare and hiatus. Picpockette drama. The Elite-squashed reveal of YulTi’s relationship. Replaced managers.

And they never beat out Lucky Six. ‘Eventful’ kissed the tip of the iceberg.

“My son’s uptight; I’ll admit it.” He chuckled before resorting to apologetics. “Dong-gun knows business and his rebranding miraculously overlapped Yuri’s...situation. He’s a godsend.”

A godsend. Yeah.

Maybe Taeyeon did destroy a peasant village in her past life. For this punishment.

Dong-gun switched to his phone, releasing Sunny. “Father and I had a conference this morning, discussing our endless back-and-forth with a few staple clients. Last-minute adjustments are in order.”

Sunny rubbed the scum from her skin. “How many?”

“Not a lot. One, as a matter of fact.”


He smirked down at her--a short, skin-chilling leer. Executive eyes cycled through the members. Fast at first, then slower, down to...Yuri. “You.”

The tallest woman sprung from the wall. “Huh?”

“You’re the adjustment. We’re nixing you for the performance.”

Obviously, he anticipated the onslaught of kneejerk protests. Flapping a hand for silence, he expounded. “It’s too soon after that lesbian dating rumor. Tiffany Hwang’s team doused it in hours; my father…” He slicked his rusty dyejob. “Isn’t responsible in this area. I’m inheriting Narsha’s damage control--except I’m going to get notable results. Miss Kwon?”

Yuri, who’d been floundering, bit onto a fleshy lip.

“We need our sponsors’ money. You will get a…” Dong-gun responded to a buzzing text mid-sentence, apparently loving the suspense. “...stomach ache. Headache. Menstrual cramps. Anything tenable. As long as it disables your ability to take the stage tonight. The audience has seen many shots of you dolled up backstage, so they’ll believe it.”

“How long have you been planning this?” Yuri gritted, ten times more hurt than earlier.

“Like I said--last minute decision. This event is an all-girls concert. Highly inappropriate for a rumored lesbian, don’t you think? Some may be uncomfortable.”

“You mean our asshole sponsors.”

“Now, you’re learning. It’s the best option for Skandl until the public is ready to see you perform again.”

“That’s bullshit!” Taeyeon spat. “How the holy fuck will two of three members dancing through your stupid routine improve our image?”

“Rumors respect Yuri avoiding the limelight. It’s not like you and Sunny will be hopeless.”

True. Standard protocol and Yuri’s on-and-off availability made LTE prepare two-person versions of their routines. Just in case. This ‘in case’ occurred sooner than imagined. “You’re a dick!”

“Name-calling is juvenile, Kim Taeyeon.” Dong-gun nodded to a curiously restrained Sunny. “And you, Lee?”

Taeyeon and Yuri stared, helpless shoulders slouching as the musician’s reticence passed the 10-second limit. Yuri exclaimed first. “Sunny! Gone mute?”

She uncrossed her arms. Flesh bumps seized her shiny skin; pure discomfort. “It’s one show, Yul.”

“Are you fuckin’ joking?”

“Miss Lee and I discussed this.” Dong-gun’s smile sealed victory. “If you fancy privileges, you’re going to heed my rules. Only then can you win the public’s favor and eventually return to your...strange musical behavior.”

Eventually. “You can’t believe this liar.”

“When have I lied?” Dong-gun voice struck her like a missile. “Be specific.”

“You say you care about Skandl! That’s a lie. Yul’s feelings--”

“Yuri isn’t Skandl. Three women comprise a Korean girl group named Skandl. And I’m a ‘big picture’ guy, concerned about the whole. Not its culpable, self-sabotaging part’s shortcomings.”

“Sk-Skandl’s more than an idol group!”

“Off your soapbox, Kim. Look at yourself.”

Kitschy designs. Abundant midriff. Heart-studded sequins. They’d become...like any other quick-cash act. Transferable and generically entertaining. For the group. To maintain Skandl’s paltry life support.

Sunny wrangled Yuri into an hug. “Yul, one show. One damn show.”

“Is it?” Taeyeon asked, raising an eyebrow to Dong-gun.

He placed a hand where his heart resided. If he had one. “You have my word.”

That meant jack shit. Though, it sucked to watch her best friends struggle. “Yul. On the bright side, you won’t make an ass of yourself tonight.”

Yuri’s cracking spirit winded her. “Et tu, Brute?”

“Reel it in,” Taeyeon whispered, holding in tears that’d ruin her glitter. “I’m no betrayer.”

The Skandl-mate, hapless without her guitar, leather, signature smirk, dislodged herself from Sunny’s arms. “I’ll be waiting. I have...heartache.”

The black-and-white-haired woman dropped her hands. “Yul…”

“Make that a sore throat,” Dong-gun snapped, whistling a path to the stage. “Skandl on in ten minutes! Show the crowd you’re versatile!”

After a Ye-seul-less primping session, Sunny dragged Taeyeon behind her. Down the hall, past enviably unaware idols, up the stairs, into the darkness. When their journey ended, Taeyeon demanded answers.

“The hell was that, Sunny?”

“Yul has been unbearable.”

Taeyeon head spun, blindsided by such a response. “What?”

“The lateness, the scandal, the attitude. She’s given up on us.”

“She’s heartbroken.”

“I like Fany, too.” Sunny missed Taeyeon’s massive eye roll. “Doesn’t mean their breakup should smash Yul’s work ethic. We’re the ones busting our asses day in and day out.”

“But, but she--”

“Yul hasn’t been through the ringer like you and I have at Elite.” Sunny creased her colored brows. “She was recruited right into LTE, so she might not even appreciate the group sometimes.”

Taeyeon shook her head; Sunny allowed no room for rebuttal.

“There’s no persuading me, Tae. Yul’s heart’s not in Skandl. You’re either too dismissive or delusional to recognize it.”

“I’d rather hear her point of view ‘til I jump to conclusions.”

“Do this--” Sunny rounded Taeyeon’s face with light pads, smile melancholy. “For us.”


“No.” Hands dropped to her shoulders. “Us. Like the old days. Sunkyu and Taeyeon.”

Taeyeon’s stomach churned at the implications. Stirrings she’d been able to skirt until recently. “Cool. For us.”

“I almost gave up my dreams for you, Tae. Tell me I won’t regret it.”

“You can’t hold that over me forever, you know.”

“Don’t waste my loyalty.”

Taeyeon stepped distance between them, for once unaffected by Jinnie’s raspy voice rumbling wall-high speakers--a personal victory she’d set aside for later. Rushed breathing exercises wouldn’t settle her stomach of this moral conundrum.

Loyalty mattered. But, loyalty to whom?

Sunny? Yul? Narsha? Jessica? LTE?

She affirmed a choice as a starchy grin dictated her lips, matching a robotic gait to center stage. Amongst ardent cries, headset discomfort, glimmering scarlet light sticks streaming blurs, warmth of Sunny’s hand squeeze, and the cramp from her heels, Taeyeon loathed the emptiness--where Yuri would preside.

Taeyeon had to persevere.

Her limbs came to life in a cascade of pyrotechnics. Varicolored rays danced at her feet and slashed into the crowd like lightsabers. The track had the people jumping, though. Cheers, cheers everywhere. Exuberance.

She heard her own voice, but it wasn’t hers. If that made sense. Sunny’s writing had become a part of her and deviating from it rubbed her the wrong way. Nonetheless, she powered through. Because the fans, Korea, and Sunny deserved a stellar concert.

Catching a twinkle, her best friend’s eyes curved into black joy lines. She smirked back. The vibe, in spite of the devil’s sorry excuse of electropop, connected that moment. They were born for the stage, the synchronization, the glamour. There were worst offenses than satisfying supporters.

Dong-gun would be proud.

Paling at that fleeting thought, Taeyeon eyed the space to her left. Yuri should have been up there. How could Skandl prosper if all three of them weren’t wowing the damn stage?

Again, she glanced at Sunny. Trying to determine, while swaying her hips into the song’s bridge, whether the woman actually believed Dong-gun. Intelligent didn’t begin to describe Sunny; perhaps she had bigger plans in place.

Did those certain plans involve ditching Yuri? Yul hadn’t been giving a hundred percent. Not eighty percent, either.

The next two tracks trailed afterwards, virtually the same tune to Taeyeon’s critical ear.

This wasn’t the idol life she and her best friends anticipated as LTE newbies, giggling in their previously cramped dormitory. Taeyeon playing midnight bartender to sugar-heavy mixtures. Yul shining a lantern beneath her face and scaring no one. Sunny’s head on Taeyeon’s shoulder, reciting graphic poems about knuckle-deep encounters. Yuri noisily squealed into a pillow as if she were a virgin. Then, Sunny would substitute every girl’s name with ‘Tiffany’, Yul’s crush. And Taeyeon would pout out her disapproval while they cackled.

Stupid Tiffany Hwang. Stupid lies.

Stupid Taeyeon for perpetuating lies to Yuri.

But, she’d hit the grave full of deceit before she jeopardized Skandl again. They needed a leader.

Less than two minutes remained of their last set. Jessica’s advice sunk in--time zoomed by. Pretty soon, Taeyeon would grow used to this style and they’d earn their freedom again. She’d spin and wink and trace her curves for the population.



Lucky Six.

“Watch it,” Sunny fussed at Taeyeon’s first mistake of the performance.

Holy shit. Lucky Six already perfected this scene. Making Skandl….copycats? Wannabes? Imposters? Frauds?

Oh, god.

Taeyeon, verily woozy, scrutinized the crowd with fresh eyes. They were eating this mess up. Had they wanted Lucky Six: The Redux from the beginning? Had Skandl’s originality gotten in the way of the loudest fanchants, fattest checks, headlining space that Lucky Six, always, always, always secured?

“Get your head out of your ass, Tae.”

Taeyeon obeyed Sunny’s hissed demand, glimpsing to the side. To the darkened backstage. Where Dong-gun--the entitled, privileged, business mastermind-- towed their strings without breaking a sweat.

Her loyalty, when morally bargained, lay in Lim Theatrics. And through them, it fell upon Lim Dong-gun’s manicured hands. Hands that touched her skin.

She caught herself stumbling. Sunny flashed livid teeth.

He was converting them into a cheap Lucky Six.

So, Taeyeon thought fast.

In the final beat of the chorus, she pulled a stunt unique to Skandl, Korea’s most badly-behaved girl group. She slipped her fingers into Sunny’s hair, haughtily challenged the active camera, and sealed their lips for a rough, all-tongue kiss.

Taeyeon dodged Dong-gun’s reach, bolting from the deafening public’s noise. Her eyes ran rivulets. Her chest hurt--where Sunny punched her once the stage went black. People, stagehands, most likely, called after the star; she proceeded. To her destination: Elite’s dressing/waiting room. Pointed gazes from Lucky Six (along with a myriad of labelmates) shot Taeyeon like needles as she breezed inside.

She acknowledged Jessica’s stare before kidnapping a different girl.

“Why me?!” Tiffany screeched, snatching her wrist.

The singer tested the closet’s handle. Locked. “I don’t have much time.”

“To what?”

“To beseech you--don’t do anything rash.”

“Like you just now?”

Taeyeon hoisted a breath. Proximity to the enemy whorled her fingers into fists. “I’ll own up to it. I withhold secrets from Yul.”

“She’s not as clueless as you think.”

“Even so,” she continued, not trusting a word, “I’m Skandl’s leader and I have her best interest at heart. You going out there, singing ‘love:murder’, will make things worse.”

That set Tiffany off. Lashing out, she pushed Taeyeon in the shoulder. “You’re so high and mighty. It makes me sick!”

“I’m protecting her!”

“Me, too!”

Heavy knocks rattled the door’s hinges. Taeyeon sped up her speech. “We won’t ever get along again, okay? You made sure of that. But, if you give two damns about Yul, you won’t sing that fucking song. Those are Sunny’s lyrics and they shouldn’t be co-opted by some bubblegum fuckin’ pop star.”

“What, like you?”

Taeyeon pushed Tiffany back. The girl hardly moved, still as stone. “You are literally the worst thing that’s ever happened to Yul. She won’t concentrate, she skips practice, she hasn’t touched an instrument in weeks…”

“That’s not my fault! I’ve been convincing her to stick around eons before you had any idea. You’re a shitty leader.”

“At least I am one.”

The shoving match went on. Taeyeon couldn’t believe it; she and Tiffany were tussling, bumping mops, ramming shelves, in a closet habitually levied for idol quickies. They grunted, clawing hair, cursing at every solid slap. Tiffany was stronger than she looked. Similar to Yuri. Strong and stubborn. Door bangs punctuated the seconds, the minutes.

“Don’t sing Sunny’s goddamned song!”

Tiffany claimed a random scrap of metal and swiped the air between them, blowing long hair from her nose. “Enough! I’m gonna look like shit!”

“Do what I say!”

“You’re not my leader, bitch!”

“Then, do what Jessica says!”

“That’s rich,” Tiffany snorted, erupting into hysterical laughter. “You think you have it all figured out. Jess trusts me, which she should.”

“She’s being naïve.”

“Taeyeon. God.” She closed her eyes. The metal clicked to the floor. “We’re acting like savages. I’m going to tell you why you’re wrong. And you’re going to feel like an asshole.”

Hell knew how many people were huddled outside the door. “We’ll see.”

“Arrogant! You’re--” Tiffany smoothed the bends in her dress, fingertips pink. Pupils flit skyward, scanning bars of light. “I’m not innocent. You got me there. But, you have to get beyond your victim mentality. It’s going to drive everyone away, including Jessica.”

“She wouldn’t--”

“You kissed another girl. Sunny.”

A cold chill assaulted the hairs on Taeyeon’s neck; she shrugged it off. “It’s Skandl. We’re scandalous. We do shit like that.”

“You didn’t kiss Sunny for Skandl. You’re being defiant and you don’t even know what you want anymore. Jess and Sunny couldn’t hit it off; am I lying?”


“Jinnie’s scarred me, too. Sexually, emotionally…” Tiffany tapped a heel at the discarded metal, pink lips tensing. “I kissed Ace.”

Taeyeon’s jaw dropped. “Why?”

“It was staged. Chaste backup material in case someone exposes more pictures of me and Yul.”

“How’s the stubble?”

Tiffany subconsciously scratched her cheek. “Gross and itchy.”

“I never kissed Loco.”

“Unlike LTE, Elite doesn’t half-ass its bearding. I carry on with it to appease the company, to distract from my girls, and most importantly, to protect Yul. We vowed not to out each other, Tae.”


“I’ve made my decision. Not the most honest, but it keeps my loved ones safe. You have two choices, Taeyeon. My route...or what you did out there. Acting for yourself to belabor some overarching point.”

“Why are you saying this?”

“Because I care about Jessica.” Tiffany’s cheeks colored. Looking gentler than she’d ever witnessed. “I don’t understand her taste. It’s inspiring, in a weird kind of way.”

The knocks stopped. Taeyeon swallowed a nervous lump, parroting Soojung’s main worry. “Jessica doesn’t deserve a liar.”

“Just don’t lie to her.”

“In general. I want to be the best for her.”

“Honorable. Dumb, yet honorable. I suppose you’ve made your choice.”

“What does…” The blonde trailed off, knowing what Tiffany meant.

With firm, expert swishes, the woman’s tousled mane tumbled into something presentable. “As for ‘love:murder’, don’t get your thong in a twist. My plans changed. Yul agreed to meet me this weekend, when I’ll sing it for her privately. I keep my private life private. Take lessons.”

“Do you really think she’ll forgive you?”

Tiffany unlatched the door lock, disdainful smirk in full bloom. “You should be asking that yourself.”

Enemy #2 (or #1, her list fluctuated) stood sentry as they parted ways. Dong-gun spoke a single word, gesturing to the exit.


Confusion shaded Taeyeon’s features, peering around the parking lot, unable to find Jinho’s familiar ride. Had they left already?

The manager confirmed her suspicions. “Your groupmates are at the dorm. You’ll be escorted by me.”

“Like hell I will,” she muttered, fishing in her purse. Maybe Narsha could--

“I intimidate you, Miss Kim?”

Taeyeon wouldn’t entertain his conceited question. “Should I file for harassment?”

“Oh, that,” he scoffed, flicking a hand. “A one-off. What can I say? I love women. You understand.”

She flared, lips airtight.

“I’ll keep my hands to myself. However, if you’re going to lead Skandl to success, our talk will have to happen. Covertly.”

Relaying a helpless shrug, the blonde followed Dong-gun to their transportation.

A limo. Of course the douche would expend valuable energy and money for venue transportation. She “hmm”ed at the assorted spread awaiting them. Several dishes exquisitely adorned with colorful fingerfood sat atop raised platforms in the vehicle’s interior.

Dong-gun smirked his wiry smirk. “I travel in style. Hungry?”

Barely. Although, she needed a clear head to get through this conversation. She plucked a grape from a platter, frowning while she chewed. He followed her lead, stuffing a steak tartare canapé into his dumb mouth.

Her eyes bore into his. She hated the cocky quirk of his thin lips and the shininess at the tip of his nose. The silent battle to see who’d speak first. Dong-gun lost, patting his jacket pocket.

“May I smoke?”

“Is this a date or a meeting?”

“I should be angry,” he mumbled through a dangling cigarette. He directed the driver to get moving and pressed a buttons to raise the partition.

More grapes crammed into her mouth.

“I’ll cut to the chase.” He batted smoke to the wind. “I’m a pacemaker away from taking over Lim Theatrics and that’s only if I reform the scarlet thorn in my father’s side. Skandl’s his favorite group, but covering for your blunders is expensive. Here I am to trim the fat--I’ll be a hero.”

“Not here for your daddy issues.”

Dong-gun took a long pull, white ashes dressing the breeze from a cracked window. “You are, technically. I take my job seriously. For example…” His smoke circles formed perfectly. “When I was in Canada and heard of my father’s third attack, I stayed to finalize deals before flying out. And he respected that. Business first. Not to say that I didn’t have extra eyes.”

“Eyes?” She sipped glass of champagne. Clear minds were overrated.

“Watching you. All three of you.”

Her worst memories were happening in cars. Why couldn’t she teleport? “Ah.”

“I’m your boss. We’re going to earn a ton of money together, aren’t we?”


“Don’t you love money?”

“It’s okay.”

“Your hair, clothes, makeup, shoes, and jewlery say otherwise.” He paused, jutting a chin at her ears. “I recognize the designer of those pistol earrings. They’re worth a mint.”

She brushed Jessica’s present with burning sensitivity. “Didn’t...uh...didn’t know.”

“Twice you’ve changed things up without authorization under my watch. This isn’t baseball, my dear. I won’t give you another strike.”

Her head itched. “And?”

“Narsha swore she incorporated ‘tough love’. How wrong she was…”


Dong-gun licked cream cheese from his hand, digging into a few more favors as Taeyeon’s breath grew shallow. In a voice all too casual, he asked, “Remember when you aspired to destroy Lucky Six? What happened to that?”

Years of relentless pursuit, the desire to cleave their success into ribbons. Seemed like lifetimes ago.

“Kim Taeyeon, in the pampered atmosphere of previous management, Skandl failed to hit its peak--Number One. I mean, that’s Father erected this company. He says art, I say money and prestige.”

She glimped out a window, pawing her scalp. “Whatever.”

“I hired someone to take those photos of Tiffany Hwang and Yuri. They were sent to the press under my direction.”

The blonde spit out champagne. It dotted her ugly skirt. “Y-you--”

“Elite’s a formidable opponent. Great fake boyfriend material at the last minute. Guess I’ll work harder.”

“What about--” Taeyeon’s issues geared to one person. “Yul?! You’re supposed to protect her!”

“She’s fine, isn’t she? Elite did the heavy lifting for us by confirming Miss Hwang as straight.”

“You could have ruined her!”

“Those pictures are small potatoes. Everyone suspects Yuri to be comfy with other women--” His grin curled her veins. “Though, it shines a light on the Lucky Six member. Questionable closeness with troublemaker Skandl’s guitarist and she steals one of Korea’s most eligible bachelors? The dirt’s flung to her publicly as we deal with Yuri behind the scenes. We win.”

“Fucking monster!” Taeyeon kicked a table, toppling untouched hors d'oeuvres to the carpet. Champagne flutes smashed upon impact. “You’re a monster!” Worse than Tiffany on her most devilish day.

“You’ll pay for that,” he replied cooly, cigarette fuming. “Whether it be you or your little girlfriend, or boyfriend. I couldn’t care less. Exposing their photos shows you who’s Skandl’s new daddy. It’s my way or there’s the door.”

The limo stopped with a jerk.

“There’s the door,” he repeated.

Their dorm building loomed, menacing against a harsh red backdrop. Taeyeon made a show of grappling the door open. Still, Dong-gun’s deep voice kept her rooted.

“Taeyeon, you’re fortunate.”

Trapped. She blinked, barricading moisture. “Why?”

“My incompetent team captured the grainiest shots of you and Jessica Jung under the bridge. Can’t distinguish you from hundreds of other idols.” He laughed as if he made a joke. “Your role in Skandl is irreplaceable and I’d prefer clear shots if I’m going to tame you once and for all.”

Uncomfortable inactivity greeted Taeyeon. No 80s rock quaking anyone’s room. Lifeless couches, floor, kitchen space. She took advantage of the empty bathroom, shedding clothes she’d rather burn and peeling faerie crust from her body.

Liberated of K-Pop layers, she didn’t look so hot. Unpushed boobs, no healthy lustre, smallish eyes, shoulder-length hair lacked extensions’ volume. Vanilla, commonplace.


“Fuck you,” she growled. To no one. To herself.

She didn’t check her phone. Jessica was probably still on stage with her unbroken group, doing a better job at the ‘idoling’ than she ever could.

An argument echoed from the living room by the time Taeyeon cranked her shower off. She debated to herself: to flee or confront it head-on?

Taeyeon blow dried her hair slowly. Contemplating the last time Skandl had a huge disagreement, wondering what this could entail. Hi-def images of Dong-gun’s oily face, his “checkmate” grin, stifling recollections of Lucky Six’s double-dry method. How Hyoyeon imparted info about Jessica and supplied the ‘bitch’ shirt archived neatly in Taeyeon’s dresser.

Honesty hurt. That’s what stardom taught her. Society and its fidelity exalted truthfulness, but did most people really want to know? Wouldn’t Rumors sooner indulge in the fantasy of Skandl: a Lim Theatrics invention. She, Kim Taeyeon, accepted a persona, a character.

Real Taeyeon, tripping in their ‘Girls Only’ routine, lost hope in the fans feverishly pumping scarlet lightsticks. They didn’t love her. They didn’t even know her.

Taeyeon heard her name. Her ears heated.

Packing the trashy ball of clothes into a hamper, she sucked in a deep breath. Her mirrored self received another inspection.

Younger, less haggard. Kirby-er cheeks. Not as plain. That beacon of positivity made Taeyeon turn the doorknob and push her piece.

Yuri occupied the rug, dwarfed by a palette of cardboard. Taeyeon hiccuped at the realization: moving arrangements. In her ignorance, she didn’t connect househunting to actually bailing from the Skandl dorm.

The guitarist split the palette’s casing with a boxcutter, questioning the latecomer. “What took you so long?”

The blonde mounted a stool. “Dong-gun.”

Sunny, clean and pleasantly unpolished, pressed both elbows on the counter opposite of Taeyeon. “And stowing away with Fany?”

“Yes,” Yuri added, voice weak from yelling, “do tell.”

Taeyeon stalled, swinging her feet. What part of ‘I hate your fucking ex-girlfriend’ sold her point? “We had business to discuss.”

“Damn, Tae.” Yuri rose from the floor. She patted overalls (that made her look 12) and stared. Stared blankly, petrifying the shorter woman.

She knew something. But, what?


“Fany warned me about this...your selfishness.”

Oh, shit. “Don’t let her pit us into war, we--”

“Have you always kept secrets from me, or is this a new development?”

“What secrets?” Sunny asked, immediately shut up by Yuri’s glare.

“Sunny, do me a favor and stop acting concerned.”

She groaned, thoroughly irked. “You can’t hold one evening against our friendship.”

“You don’t even want me in the group.”

You don’t even want to be in the group,” she countered, in the nick of time for Taeyeon to reroute their argument.

“Yul, I’m sorry, alright?” Taeyeon suppressed an emotion explosion. Not yet. “Tiffany threatened everything I love and I was afraid it’d distract you. I know how much you cared about her.”

“Cared!?” The brunette spat, “I love her, Tae. Present tense. I thought you loved me, too. You shouldn’t use our goddamned career as a scapegoat for your fear.”

Sunny was baffled. “What the fuck is goin’ on? Is Taeyeon why you two broke up?”

“No affairs,” Taeyeon deadpanned, paling at the disdain scarring her friend’s lips. “Tiffany can’t be trusted. She’s crazy, conniving, and fake. Why would--”

“There you go again!” Yul made a show of hands to the ceiling. “Is Fany Jinnie’s apprentice? Will you devote the next four years vilifying her to god-tier villain status? For fuck’s sake.”

“Whoa there, lover girl.” Sunny interjected. “Taeyeon has every right to piss on Jinnie.”

“Tae’s mania is suffocating!”

“You have some gall, Yul. Taking the Sixers’ side against your own.”

“I hated Jinnie,” Yuri snarled a full lip, twisting into her ponytail. Fingers grasping, clawing, like they belonged around Sunny’s neck. “She was lower than dirt and I experienced a taste of victory when she couldn’t perform tonight. Since we all know that’s what she wants. Stardom again.”

Sunny shrugged a bare shoulder. “I dunno. You’ve been riding Lucky Six’s ass for as long as I’ve known you.”

“And you’ve been riding Tae’s.”

Damn. Brought back into the cut. Taeyeon gulped, observing the half-moon-haired musician burn in pure anger.

“Don’t even,” Sunny hissed.

“Kim!” Yuri’s silver fingernail raked the tip of the blonde’s nose in a dramatic point. “Are you in love with Sunny?”

More blood drained from Taeyeon’s cheeks. “Shit, Yul…”

“Don’t draw it out.”

Lee Sunkyu--slender-framed, clad in a cut-off tee and boy briefs--resembled her trainee self. The ever-confident smart ass, occasionally sensitive teenager buying eyelid tape until her parents afforded creases. The unsung hard worker. A best friend who halted Taeyeon’s bouncing knee by second nature.

She, like Jessica, needed the truth. “I’m not.”

“Then, quit fucking with me, Tae!” Sunny shouted. Tone cracking awkwardly; quite a rare find for someone who cryogenically stored her feelings. “If you ever kiss me again, I swear I’ll saw your lips off myself!”

Yuri slid the boxcutter across the counter. “Be my guest.”

“Bitch!” Taeyeon snatched it, scared shitless by the jest. She faced Sunny. “We flirted and used each other for fun. Nothing deeper registered.”

“Fucking duh,” the woman scoffed. “Tae, you wouldn’t have given me a fair shot if I filled your bedroom with bloody red roses. You didn’t only have your eye on Group A for rivalry, you were obsessed with Group A-class women. Jinnie, Jessica--”

“Oh, please. You’re fucking Im Yoona.”

“We haven’t had sex.”

“What’s holding your vag hostage?” Taeyeon’s eyebrows hit her hairline. “Not me, right?”

“Get over yourself.” Sunny replaced her ire with a quiet smirk. “How could I not fall for the vulgarity generator Yoong calls her mouth? I just…feel like a sellout, dating a Lucky Sixer. I don’t wanna follow you and Yul’s footsteps.”

Yuri’s scratchy voice broke through her reverie. “Dating Yoona doesn’t make you a sellout. Approving Dong-gun’s lies does the trick.”

“I work within the system. It’s how I negotiate.”

“He’s trouble.”

“He’s a suit! Suits control everything else we do; the difference for him is that he’s covert. It’s an advantage.”

Dear fuck. Taeyeon clicked on her sternest tone. “Dong-gun can’t be trusted, Sunny. He…” She glanced at Yuri, nodding to a stool. “You may want to sit.”

Yuri decline. “What’d the bastard do?”

“He deployed a team to expose you and Fany. Not Elite, WINtertainment, or random paps….Dong-gun.”

“W-why the hell would he do that?!”

“To control us!” Taeyeon desperately regarded her groupmates. “We’re not dealing with any suited exec. He considers himself our ‘daddy’, like he’s our pimp or something.”

“Damnit!” Yuri cried, distress lines ten times more pronounced. “We are his hos. I told Fany--”

“Fuck Fany.”

“You’re a coward who’d let me stay with a ‘conniving bitch’ under the guise of a pragmatic leader.”

“She threatened everything, Yul.”

“Then, treat me like a proper teammate and warn us. Both of us! We could have settled shit. Instead, you assumed me as some blundering lovesick fool.”

Taeyeon ruefully snickered. “If the shoe fits…”

“Those are your true feelings, huh?”

“You willingly dated a psychopath of whom you refuse to condemn. Love. Sick.”

“How many months would it have taken you to bring up Dong-gun’s snitching?” Yuri asked, visibly seething. “For someone so butthurt over betrayal, you sure do keep your best friends in the dark about critical fucking information. Why would you lug this around on your own?”

“I wasn’t on my own…”

“I quit.”

The arguing party switched to Sunny. She’d poured a sizeable glass of orange juice and vodka. Long bangs shaded her eyeline.

Yuri spoke first. “Whuh?”

Sunny drank a third. “What do we have going for us? Crappy management--we got Narsha the boot. You two knuckleheads are so far up your girls’ vaginas that your brains won’t work...we’re fucked.”

“Don’t divide our group.”

“No!” Her disappointment shone severely, bitterly. “Yul, you’re moving out. You’re buying a house while we’re at our lowest. Escaping physically to match your inside. Your heart isn’t in it anymore, is it?”

“Yes, it--” Yuri caught her lip, fumbling. With a small glance into Taeyeon’s eyes, she cracked. “It was fun at first. Being crazy, releasing music that meant something...currently, we’re unrecognizable. What I held onto religiously…” She pressed fists to her sides. “Was that Skandl forged our friendship, so it should exist forever. But, now it’s doing the opposite. Our concepts, fanservice, false scandals, gimmicks: they’re fiction. We deceive everyone, especially ourselves--thinking we’re better than other celebs. We’re not.”

“Our music's real.” Taeyeon sniffed.

“Not anymore. And what happens when we lose the music?”

Sunny glugged more alcohol into her screwdriver. “I’ll phone my lawyer in the morning.”

“This...this…” Yuri started pacing, frantic. Complete contrast to Taeyeon still, paralyzed. “Is this it? Are we over?”

“We hit rock bottom,” Sunny muttered, tilting her drink to the oldest member. “Half a year ago, Tae would hold me at gunpoint for voicing such blasphemy. Instead…”

Sunny told the truth. The comeback night discussion with Narsha on this same topic had rattled Taeyeon for days, pervaded her dreams. Old Kim Taeyeon owed her life to Skandl. However, Skandl wasn’t Skandl any longer. “Our friendships will outlast a contract.”

“You’re not bothered?”

“Of course I’m fuckin’ bothered.”

“This year’s harships,” Yuri whimpered. “My accident, your secrets, Sunny’s recklessness--Skandl’s irreparable. We’ve outgrown the group.”

“Beautiful!” Sunny snarked in an outburst. “Well, thank fuckin’ god I pulled the plug first! You--” She circled Taeyeon, then Yuri. “and you gave up on our group. I’ll be known as Sunny the double-quitter.”


“Besides Dong-gun’s total annihilation of our souls, you bitches torched the kindle to Skandl’s demise. Did you even read the lyrics to ‘love:murder’?! Idol love yields career murder. Your squishy, insipid emotions and girlfriends and hickies and--shit!--you killed Skandl! So, I’m jumping ship before it sinks. G’night.”

Eventually, Yuri wandered out, sporting glazed eyes and tape tube bracelets. Leaving Taeyeon on her wooden stool, utterly stunned.




“Shit!” She slammed a hand flat on the counter. Welting, not caring. Recoils vibrated up her arm, shocking her elbow. Secondary pain to glass tears scratching her cheekbones.

Her group finally snapped. And she uselessly watched it happen.

Rocketing from the seat, a heavy clatter stole her attention. She swiftly retrieved Yuri’s boxcutter, the unclosed bottle of vodka, and left pride in her wake. Partying, lectures, Narsha, money, drugs, alcohol--none of them would remedy this agony.

“But, I’ll try,” she laughed grimly, chugging clear fire down her throat. She sputtered from its metallic aftertaste. Nearly choking. Momentarily wishing that she did.

Fuck. Maybe Sunny was blowing off steam. They’d been pissed before.

Head heavy already, Taeyeon ripped through her dresser until she found sources of temporary calm. She rolled the paper expertly, stuffing it to the brim with a plastic bag’s contents. Sunny normally supplied and for some reason, not having that in the future panicked her more. Would she and Yuri be stranded on Dong-gun island without their wily songwriter? Or would Skandl dissolve completely?

Yul wouldn’t follow the creep’s orders. Not after what he did to her relationship….or what he would’ve flagged in Taeyeon’s face to blackmail her into submission.

Taeyeon was an idiot. Habitually two steps behind. Worrying over Jinnie while Tiffany schemed. Feuding with Tiffany as Dong-gun lurked their shadows. Succumbing to shallow idol stress as her very own teammates felt undervalued, tired.

She steamed smoke through her nostrils. Battling a faceless demon. Called ‘the unknown’. A erratic, risky, fickle unknown.

Jessica hadn’t texted her. Taeyeon refreshed her message box, Chatty Bang Bang, Picpockette feed. No sign of communication. Was she seriously upset about the Sunny stage kiss, ignoring prior knowledge of the group’s history? Could she be that fucking petty?

Incensed, she took another quaff of vodka.

Her thumb hovered upon her ex-manager’s name. Narsha. Narsha would--no.

Skandl burdened her enough. Essentially, Taeyeon, Yuri, and Sunny printed her resignation papers, kicking their role model to the curb. They outscandaled themselves.

She scrolled to her parents’ number. Wasting no hesitation, she pinkied [Call].




Taeyeon chewed her lip ‘til it ached. Both afraid and needy of her mother’s wispy voice or her father’s high-set timbre. Frowning at a fifth ring, she called again.

And again. Again.

“Fuckin’ A!” Taeyeon flailed her arms in a mini tantrum. The vodka bottle was stricken in the line of fire, soaking her Egyptian cotton in an annoyingly appropriate mess. She wouldn’t sleep tonight anyways.

This would have marked the perfect opportunity. Redemption for her family. To prove they didn’t royally suck. But, they did.

Kim Taeyeon, Skandl’s leader no more, lacked a biological mother’s shoulder for crying. A soothing hum of fatherly comfort. Guidance past adolescence. For years, she subconsciously blamed Jinnie for severing her family. In truth, she never had them.

Fuckin’ Bae Soojin. No crash and burn yet, but no solo. That counted for some sort of karmic results.

As one hand gently deleted her parents’ contact, the other unlocked the boxcutter’s safety. She thumbed the latch upwards, revealing a gleaming blade to lamp light. The joint held its place tightly between her lips, hazing past the razor’s reflection. It was sharp. Beautiful.

Taking this into account, she gathered her items, flicked on her large closet’s overhead lightbulb, and shut herself inside.

Back in the closet. Where her parents, LTE, and Jessica bid her to stay. Safer, comfier, surrounded by clothes bearing unmarred price tags. Pushing Dong-gun’s greed projection aside, she snuggled between a couple boxes.

One of them held her ukulele. She couldn’t fathom when she’d packed it away. Probably some time between when the living room jam sessions stopped and Skandl’s downfall began. She plucked a string. It made her smile, so she plucked it again.

The instrument used to convey heartbreak. Now, it simply beckoned memories of Jessica in Taeyeon’s clothes, singing old tunes in her sweet, tender voice.

Taeyeon licked tears from her upper lip as she rummaged into other boxes and crevices, grazing knickknacks. The old album sagged into her lap.

She’d been right all along. Lucky Six kinda ruined her career. With their pretty eyes and naughty bits. Single Taeyeon would’ve fought tooth and nail to preserve Andy Lim’s badass-turned-bubblegum-pop manifestation of all things wrong in the industry.

That Taeyeon died. Skandl died.

Her parents were dead to her, too. She’d rather transfer that love to Soojung and Jessica’s parents, grandparents, cousins, any kin. Her first surrogate family (Yuri, Sunny, Narsha) would come around, hopefully. As for the fame--

She clutched her chest. Her fame, this access. Her beloved Skandl.

Taeyeon sent a text.

M00dy bear: Coma, I love you. K?

The razor winked in her shaky hand. Its orange handle burned. Her skin beaded sweat.

“Old Taeyeon is dead,” she declared, lowering the blade.

Her eyes pinched shut. She flinched, sobbed.

Slitting left.

Slitting right.

Into the cover of the photo album. Taeyeon shredded memories. Pictures of forgotten trainees, both Group A and B. LTE shots. Peace signs, embarrassing gangsta poses. Narsha’s pink hair, Jinnie. Sliced and diced into a paper oblivion. Her arm muscles balked once she caught her lungs, assessing her carnage. The blonde slapped the mess from her bare legs. As if a poisoned past would nick into her flesh. Take residence, fester.

Her freed a breath. Less shaken than earlier.

Taeyeon swiped her phone on instinct. Eyes watered at:

C♡ma: Lolll. Love you, Moody jerk.

More smiles crept through. Despite the fuckedupness of the last hour, days. Weeks, in fact.

Sunny quit. Yuri’s heart quit. In a matter of solidarity, she quit, too. On her own terms--not by word of a scar-lipped business lady, interviewers, or doll-pollers. Her debts as a trainee had been paid off. Nothing but legal documents bound her to Lim Theatrics Entertainment. Or Elite’s machine that pardoned boy band assholes as long as they brought in the dough. Or Dong-gun.

Taeyeon dusted her ukulele. Propped her phone upon a box. Logged into Picpockette. Recited lyrics she’d never forget.

Kim Taeyeon recorded her first video.

“H-hi,” she stuttered, eyeing her pale visage framed in the screen. “This may be the last you’ll hear of me for a while.” She pressed fingers and thumbs onto thick strings. “This is for my Rumors. For girls shamed for being themselves, and for...my girlfriend. Partner, lady half, whatever’s PC nowadays. My true love. I’m sorry for lying, everyone.”

And she sang a minute-and-a-half-long, almost jaunty version of “love:murder”. On her ukulele. In her closet. At night. For the internet.

A wretched human named Soojin once said, “Love takes sacrifice.”

She was right.

So, Taeyeon posted the bombshell.

One last scandal.

I’ve been stressed as a beezy lately. I’m going FULL GRIND to post Chapter 25 on schedule. But, if not, y’all know I don’t take long to come back. ♥♥

Drop feedback if you can! Every comment adds a dollar to ‘Spoiler Etiquette’ lessons for our dear Tiffany Hwang.

Current Mood: blahblah
Current Music: SM The Ballad: Taeyeon- Set Me Free
wiildestdreamswiildestdreams on June 19th, 2015 04:09 am (UTC)
listen it's not like i was waiting or anything... what could possibly give you that impression? i just... you know, happened to be at the right place at the right time. BE RIGHT BACK I GOTTA READ THIS.
checkinyourbracheckinyourbra on June 19th, 2015 04:13 am (UTC)

Anddd now a certain song is stuck in my head. I'll call it your theme music. ((Clicky clicky))

Edited at 2015-06-19 04:14 am (UTC)
(no subject) - wiildestdreams on June 19th, 2015 05:04 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - checkinyourbra on June 30th, 2015 06:08 am (UTC) (Expand)
the_bluebeariesthe_bluebearies on June 19th, 2015 05:30 am (UTC)
I haven't read this chapter yet. but I am excited because TAEYEONIEEEEEEEEEE but also afraid at the same time, afraid of angst in this chapter (is there?)

and... I only managed to read this towards the end (bcos I like to read author's notes first)
"On her ukulele. In her closet. At night." - am I... strange to find that rather appealing? Taeyeon is so attractive OMG any thing she does is just so hot!!!

okay, I need to lie down and breathe before I faint from spazzing too much.

checkinyourbra: taenycheckinyourbra on June 30th, 2015 06:11 am (UTC)
Eek. Afraid of angst....ummmm.....did you read the chapter? There may be....just a smidgen.....

........of angst.


I don't find it strange at all. Taeyeon + Ukulele is heaven. AHHHHH BB YOU SHOULDN'T READ THE LAST LINES OF THESE CHAPTERS. You're gonna spoil yourself one of these days~~~


(Anonymous) on June 19th, 2015 05:38 am (UTC)
FAV CHP EVER. shit by the thousands happened but i loved it. sunny punching tae, tae locking tiff in the closet with her and them having a shoving match, the skandl fight and seeing how sunny and yuri felt during all this. also love;murder finally seeing the light of day

and ok that boxcutter had me sitting on the edge the whole time. then i sighed in relief when it was only tae's photo album that got cut up despite it being a bit dramatic. and then she sang a love song after having kissed another girl (it meant nothing but still) on the same day. lol moody till the end. i love it.

jessica's reply txt made me smile too. how is she such a sweetheart?

i don't mind waiting for the next chp cause i really liked this one :)

checkinyourbra: taeyeon02checkinyourbra on June 30th, 2015 06:15 am (UTC)

Yaassss FAVE CHAPPIE FEELS. :DDD Only when shizz really hits the bottom can I smoothly ride this baby into its parking spot, bb. <333 End is near, darling.

BUT, it's not done yet! Seeing you summarize I thought, 'oh gawd, all that DID happen'. Glad it wasn't too overwhelming for y'all. ^^ Fights, fights, fights.

GOOD. I was all for the drama. It led there with all this stress weighing down on Taeyeon. So, in the end, she chooses a way out. In her own way. LOL yep. Kissed another girl, then sings said girl's song. Moody bear's here to serve. hahahah

Awwwwwwww :))) If you're smiling, I'm smiling.

Ahhhhhhh thank youuuuuuu. DON'T CRY, BABESSSS. ;______;
I la- la- la- love youregreted on June 19th, 2015 05:50 am (UTC)
back on the east coast where my life is, but i was off being silly in Japan last week and Seoul the week before.
at least i remembered it was 1st thing friday for skandl

excuse me.... i need time to deal with this chapter before i can even fathom a coherent comment.
all i can say right now is that yay, because this is a huge step for the story. i mean, it was pretty obvious someone was going to break, and since the very 1st chapter you've basically indicated it was TY with her emotional ineptitude and single-minded nature but i was not necessarily expecting you to rock the world this way, idk if its because i read a crapton of shitty aff fics where everything is like sunshine and daisies in the end, or like everyone dies, but this kind of writing makes me so happy. because you're telling a story that we want but don't at the same time. it's thrilling and oh so good to be surprised by the turn of events even though things are working towards what could still be that fluffy fairy tale ending.

also its super like emotional to read this shit because it's like looking at a fake magnifying glass and seeing a made-up reality of what our idols do. because on some plane in some reality for somebody this is could be real but let's be real, we know nothing about our precious idols and sometimes you write this story specifically points to the ignorance of the public and the value of PR which in our heads we get but our feel-boxes not so much.

i don't know if you could even understand any of that.

i see you mentioning soojung, and i think this confession things may win ty soojung points but definitely not sooyeon points, jessica is finally owning this leader/idol business and ty is about to royally fuck her new lifestyle up. jessi is still a rookie and this is what she worked for, but idk.

also need time to process the fuckoff that sunny is giving everyone like wow i know ty was the glue trying to hold them together, but not prepared for sunny to fucking be the 1st to call it quits.

yuri is being lamer than ugg boots in the summer. i just
i was rooting for skandl, i thought it was like hoes before bros with them, they worked so hard

and LOVED tae's epiphany about why they were always no. 2 (she finally got it)

but a little squealling girl inside of me was doing backflips for tae because damn if a bitch did that for me i'd wife'em in like 2.5 seconds

legit. ugh, just let tae be happy for a few minutes. peureejeu.

Edited at 2015-06-19 07:04 am (UTC)
checkinyourbra: yuri02checkinyourbra on June 30th, 2015 07:11 am (UTC)
Japan and Seoul?!?! You didn't take me with you. :<

Ah, you needed pause to absorb this chappie, too? Nice.

yay, because this is a huge step for the story--YAAAAAAYYY, INDEED. BLESS.

I gotta say: reading through you initial thoughts about Taeyeon really intrigues me. I know many readers were like, 'ah jeez, Tae' in the beginning. So, I wondered how their feelings for her overall character evolved since then. I know your perspective now! I love a sunshine and daisies ending as much as anyone else, but there was no way for everything to be perfect as things wind down. Shizz has to go down. Skandl! began with Taeyeon's love of the group. And it ends with...whatever is happening now. I'm glad to surprise you. :))

I UNDERSTOOD ALL OF THAT. It's a faux magnifying glass, for I have no idea the true ins and outs o f the kpop industy. All I know is this little world I created. It's kinda therapeutic.

Soojung points, no Sooyeon points. B'awww. It's true, this definitely will affect the lifestyle of seeing each other as casually. Hm.

Taeyeon the glue! Who woulda thunk? Sunny peels out first. Then, honestly, Taeyeon does the BIG takeoff with her video.

"yuri is being lamer than ugg boots in the summer. i just "--CRYING. HAHAHHAHA

Taeyeon got it! Finally!!

Hehehehe Tae's absolutely fangirl-worthy there. Who says Jess won't wife her up in 2.5 seconds?

>.>....Taeyeon will be happy when I let her.

Thank youuuuuu for the delightful insight, babes. :))
하류cateyes330 on June 19th, 2015 06:24 am (UTC)
God damn! Brb! This needs a while to process... XD


LOL I'm glad that I'm not much of a partier or else I can't continue with my lazy schedule hahaha but yea hanging out with peeps makes me more busy for the summer. Hahaha thanks for welcoming me back hehehe (◕‿‿◕。)

LOL I have more faith in Taetae now so don't worry. You don't have a history of smashing ships but I'm always scared of good writers. Good writes make readers cry =P hahahaha So I'm just preparing myself for a heartache.

lol hey it's better awkward than your parents not being cool with your gf right? Your parents sound cool! Don't know what mine would do if I ever bring back a girl hahaha σ(oдolll) They might freak lol or be the most awkward people on earth.

Which KCon are you planning on going to? I'm guessing NY since it's so close to you? But yours should be awesome too!!! It's right around the corner hehehe

Girl, I of course slayed those finals hahaha I graduated with my Bad Ass degree! Woot! Now I'm gonna focus on working as a Bad Ass until I level up to a Master hahahahaha

Oh about this chapter!

OMGGGGGGG What the hell just happened?? Okay that was a big twist and also a very dick move! I thought Dong Gun was just annoying, now he's pure evil! Moody Bear must defeat evil! lol sorry defeating evil is all I could think about now. I've been binge watching Full Metal Alchemist and too many struggles with evil people in that show hahaha

With that said, I really can't imagine how everyone will react when Taeyeon's video gets online. She just like opened the door to either hell or heaven hahaha But we won't know until you update. >.< hahaha damn everything is going down! I guess this is really the end of the group huh? Everything went down so fast, it's sad! Btw what's with the suspense? The ending of this chapter was actually very suspenseful. I thought Taeyeon was going crazy and might hurt herself with that boxcutter! But good thing she didn't XD

Anyway, thanks for the update and good luck with your busy life! You can do it!!!

~Edited Again~

OMG!!!!! #LoveWins #SCOTUS
Happy Pride! Can't wait for the parade tomorrow in my city! =D USA, USA, USA!!!

P.s I wish I can show you our pretty Rainbow Bridge XD

Edited at 2015-06-27 04:11 am (UTC)
checkinyourbra: taeyeon05checkinyourbra on June 30th, 2015 06:26 am (UTC)
All processed? Yey. :)))

Of course! I'm glad you're having fun and whatnot. I want a lazy schedule. ;_____; I get my rest when I can, though. So, that's good~

AWWWWWWWWW. C'mere, bb. I don't plan on making you cry. :** Hehehthanksforconsideringmeagoodwriter.

My parents are cool......except when it comes to me being gay. Very bittersweet..


I KNEW IT. You're a professional Bad Ass. Give my Tae character lessons. hahaha

Hahaha I liked that catch up. ^^

Dong-gun dropped dat BOMB. I enjoy these sinister types. He has a purpose behind his madness. Taking control too levels that'd even scare Tiffany. HAHAHHAA I like your Full Metal though process. Idk how much Taeyeon can do to take this evil down. Evil is all around her..guess she should focus on the people who mean the most.

"She just like opened the door to either hell or heaven"--That's how it seems rn. I like how you put it.

Crashing down. As Tae put it while she spoke to Jinnie: Crash and burn. That's how Skandl went. There's suspense because I freakin' LOVE suspense and it felt like the right time to try my suspense writing on y'all. ;))) Yeah, a dead or harmed Taeyeon would take his fic in a different direction..

Thankies, bb. Please be lazy enough for me, too!!!


I'm sure I saw pics of your Rainbow Bridge! Did you see our Empire State Building?? :DDDD
(Anonymous) on June 19th, 2015 07:11 am (UTC)
Jesus shit, that was intense as hell. I was just sitting there biting my thumb the entire time. And holy shit, that ending. Damn, the wait for the next chapter's gonna be painful.
checkinyourbra: jessica03checkinyourbra on June 30th, 2015 06:28 am (UTC)
Jesus shit, that was intense as hell.--LOL. I love this. Thank you. ;D

Ohhhhh a thumb biter!! No blood drawn, right? hahhaaha

The wait shouldn't be too bad. Let's hope everything goes smoothly. :DDD

Yaaayyy for you dropping your feels~~~
tiiifffyyytiiifffyyy on June 19th, 2015 01:49 pm (UTC)

OMG. I don't even know where to begin.

Dandyu kiss, taeny closet bitch fight, that conniving jerk of a dick dong-gun, the massive suntaeri dorm fight (gah! That hurt like a bitch), the last scene with tae in the closet and moody bear and coma dkcjakdkja WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO US?!?!?

I love this chapter so much but I also hate it. You feel? I can't believe it was dong-gun who did that to yulti... he's as low as it gets. This dong-gun guys is really getting under my skin... you're doing a real good job of that y'know. Can't stress enough how good you are at making these emotions - be it the feels during the sexytimes or the massive angst when it's, well, angsty.

Skandl has really "hit rock bottom" haven't they.. how are they gonna get back up? Part of me wants Narsha to come back, just bust into their dorm and slap some sense back into their group and let the rest be rainbows and unicorns but a) whats the fun in that and b) how unrealistic huh? Lol surprisingly I really miss Narsha. Hoping to see her again down the track. I'm so curious as to how theyre gonna dig themselves out of this 50ft hole. Pretty much seems impossible at this point.

Tiff seems to be sooorrttt offf getting back on track. By that I mean she seems to have a bit more of a heart, not closing heself off and being the behind the scenes fake bitch she was. OH YEAH, THAT SLIGHT BLUSH WHEN TIFF SAID SHE CARED FOR JESS. I DIDN'T MISS THAT. IT'S DEEPLY ENGRAVED INTO MY BRAIN HERE. YOU SURFACED MY JETI FEELS SO BAD IN THIS SCENE ITS NEVER GONNA LEAVE ME. And as much as I'd loooooove for some jeti to happen ( like for some slight sexualrelief there which will never happen I know (you should know I live in my delusions a lot)) I still stand strong for taengsic in this fic, seeing the amount of things they've been through.

Woah, I've never written such a long comment in my life! I should probably stop there before you get freaked out by me. Lol

Thanks for the update! Thoroughly enjoyed ~ (as you can see)

More pls, ASAP
ILY xx ;)

checkinyourbra: tiffany03checkinyourbra on June 30th, 2015 06:42 am (UTC)
Haaaaayyy did I ever get a chance for suggesting my fic on your rec list on AFF?? If not, THANKKKKK YOUUUUUUUU ♥♥♥♥♥ The exposure helps, really. :)))

Ahhh don't furrow your eyebrows too much!! hahahaha

I'm really loving these summaries. Makes the chapter sound intense from beginning to end!!! heheheheh I DO IT BECAUSE I LOVE Y'ALL. OR I WANNA SEE Y'ALL SQUIRM. WHICH IS ESSENTIALLY THE SAME THING.

"the massive suntaeri dorm fight (gah! That hurt like a bitch)"--Please accept my virtual hug~

I love this chapter so much but I also hate it. You feel?--Yep. I feel.

Rawwwrr thank you. Hope I'm not raising anyone's blood pressure while juggling various readers' feelings with hate for Dong-gun, Tiffany, and/or Jinnie. All for the fun of the read! But, I appreciate your kindness--knowing that I elicited emotions really makes this story worth it. ^^

Dang. I have so many smartypants readers. That whole "Skandl has really...point." paragraph was a really good train of though. What I will say is: Narsha may show sooner than you think. She's not forgotten~

Getting a sooorrttt offf feeling for Tiffany is very fitting. Esp. in regards for Taeyeon. She and Taeyeon have that edge and it permeates every one of their interactions. OF COURSE YOU CAUGTH THAT BLUSH OF JETI-ISM. Ngl, Skandl!'s JeTi would make an interesting voyage. However, that is not a voyage that I'll take. Until then, soak in the tidbits of their ~passionate friendship. STAND STRONG FOR TAENGSIC.

Really??? I'M PROUD OF YOUR COMMENT. :DD You'd have to do a LOT to freak me out. :333


Writing as fast as I can hahah. For youuuu
ILY2 xoxo :333
(Anonymous) on June 20th, 2015 12:14 am (UTC)
Holy fuck I'm speechless
I cannot even say anything right now...I'm stunned. Right after that ot9 chapter, and oh my has things fallen apart.

The yulsuntae fight hurt. But it has been coming for a while, taeng can't lie to her best friends forever. Also, sunny being ruthless and coming in for yuri and tae. On team sunny always but damn she being the first to quit. Also, was sunny in love with tae???? Even during elite days when she quit for her omg my dandyu heart is broken. :(

Can't wait to see next chapter when the Internet breaks over taeng coming out. Thanks for the update checkie your writing is phenomenal.
checkinyourbra: sunny02checkinyourbra on June 30th, 2015 06:48 am (UTC)
Re: Holy fuck I'm speechless
Speechless Anon!!

Did I really drop this after teh OT9 chappie?


OH, DAYUM. MAH BAD. xDDD Hope you enjoyed that short week of warm fuzzy togetherness feels.

I agree. That fight was pretty rough to write, but it'd be unfair to leave it out. Haaa. Lying/omitting for that long could only bring trouble. And it snowballed! Ooooh you were one of my #TeamSunny bbs? Yep, she got ruthless. Skandl means so much to her and to see it crumble...guess she tried to rip the bandaid off. Sunny's feelings may or may not be revealed. I don't know. ((Yes, I do))

I love being called Checkie. :33 And thankssssss. I'll try to keep it quality!
astro24astro24 on June 20th, 2015 03:00 pm (UTC)
Hello author! It's actually my first time to leave a comment. XD Thank you for your hardwork!! I think this will be one of my favorite chapters in this story. I have so much feels while and after reading this chapter. I totally didn't see those things coming. I was like, what??? No???? Yeah.... I think I cannot express myself properly. Lol anyway, looking forward to your next update!!! Keep up the good work! (^O^)/
checkinyourbra: seohyun04checkinyourbra on June 30th, 2015 06:52 am (UTC)
First timer!!! Ayyyyy welcome, astro bb!!! ♥♥♥

>.< Fic-writing's hard work when life's all, "Yeahhhh, I'ma do things when all you wanna do is look at pretty Soshi pics and type on your laptop." Pfft. ;D

A lot of ppl love this chapter! Wonderful! This is the highest point, so that makes me smile. Good stuff.

Unexpected thangs hittin' ya at every angle! >:DDD

You're expressing yourself wonderfully! Thankyouthankyouthankyou for showing up. ^^

I'll try to keep writing for ya~
sarasmile321sarasmile321 on June 21st, 2015 04:53 am (UTC)
Oh my gosh! So I came back for the craziest chapter ever! I'm in Hawaii and have had like no time to catch up on the chapters I missed but "luckily" (totally not luckily at all..) I somehow caught a cold so I've been told to stay in bed and rest. But how can I rest when I totally remembered that I missed two chapters!?

OMFG I can not even believe Tae kissed Sunny!! Like what the heck was she thinking?! I am seriously wondering if Jessica's love you was real or not.. but I think it came at a good time for Tae..
I am so glad that the question was asked if Tae loved Sunny but I felt like maybe Tae took a long time to answer and I'm thinking maybe Sunny didn't like that answer lol
Okay and Skandl can't freaking be over!! I was so shocked when Sunny quit! Hell I was shocked through the whole argument with Sunny, Tae and Yul..
I'm starting to wonder if Taeyeon may start to get jealous that Jessicas group seems to be doing well and her own group just broke up.
My heart was freaking pounding when Tae had that box cutter! I was so thinking she would do something stupid! But then she made that video omg!
Seriously loved the drama in this chapter please oh please keep it coming!! And of course would love more taengsic drama lol.. is that bad? I think it's okay to have taengsic drama as long as it all turns out okay in the end.. right?? Haha
checkinyourbra: jessica04checkinyourbra on June 30th, 2015 06:59 am (UTC)
Craziest chapter EVAAAARRRR. While in Hawaii?? JELLY. Please, get well soon!!! What better to cure your ailment than some good ol' fanfic, eh? Drama eases the soul!

KISSED HER AGAIN. Wonder who was more mad: Sunny or Jessica?

I am seriously wondering if Jessica's love you was real or not.. but I think it came at a good time for Tae..--I've seen this question a couple of times. Hmm. You're right, though. Perfect timing.

Taeyeon certainly had to think about 1.) how to answer and 2.) what to say. To Sunny, too. The best friend who wouldn't shy from punching her in the chest. haha

So much shock! Skandl's demise and DAT FIGHT, THO.

"I'm starting to wonder if Taeyeon may start to get jealous that Jessicas group seems to be doing well and her own group just broke up."--Valid question. We'll see.

Taeyeon did something "stupid". Not physically, tho.

Hahahah these drama addicts up in here. Idk if I can keep that intensity up. But, a few more things may happen. To TaengSic? hmmmm idk?

/then, I make them break up.


Thanks for reading, bb. ;DDD
(Anonymous) on June 21st, 2015 06:51 am (UTC)
YAAAS (24)!!

But, seriously, “One Damn Show” Indeed. Lady lover titans throwing down in a closet and one of the lady lovers smoking weed, drinking, playing uke, trashing old keepsakes, having a mental breakdown, and posting a coming out video -- all within a closet. OMG. So intense. And that ending is killing me SO GOOD. Ugh. *Dies again*

Damn, Skandl finally hit their breaking point, and man, was it ugly to watch.
So many feels and images of them just breaking down around Yuri’s boxes for her house. They’re just SO DONE with trying to work together and survive in the Kpop circus while staying true to who they are. My heart broke when Sunny sided with Mr. Shade, and then Tae followed suit. I understand why they did, but ugh my heart. Then Tae coming clean with her friendly affection for Sunny, and Sunny confessing her attraction to Yoona, and Yuri just being SO DONE (again), and both of them teaming up to let Tae know how much she’s been falling short as a leader... Skandl *sobs*. Now, it’s up to the magnificent Bra to fix it all and bring them (and Narsha) back together (and get rid of Mr. Shade) ;P.

And Holy SIKAHAIFHISODJF!!! Taeyeon having a mental breakdown onstage was intense. Like my eyes were literally racing down the page and could feel all the crazy, pressure, anger, and confusion she had during the performance Mr. Shade forced them into.

Speaking of Mr.Shade. He has a very real and understandable backstory. Not saying I got any new love for him, but I do have a better picture of where he’s coming from and it makes sense. And man, that reveal that he was the one behind all the pap pics. Oooooo. Yep, still don’t like him XD.

I mentioned this before, but the Taeny closet throwdown was awesome and crazy. Tiff definitely dropped some truth bombs in there. My heart began breaking for Tae here and it continued to crack as she went through more ish during the chapter -- and OMG her calling her parents and getting no response, so she DELETES their number. SO MUCH FEELS.

Also, I see that Yulti are meeting up again. And Yuri still LOVES Tiff -- “LOVE, present tense, Sunny” -- and is being all kinds of troublesome without her lady. And Tiff isn’t singing “Love:Murder” anymore in order to protect her Yulstallion. Why must I still love this toxicity so much? …. So, will we get to see this attempted meet up, Bra???????? Don’t mean to get all “OITNB- Poussey-Time-Hump-Chronicles” on you, but holy guacamole, if that gets written into a later update my fangirl spazzing will not be able to be tamed -- even if you do end up throwing them off a cliff XD.

Ehem, back on topic. Once again, that cliff hanger. I died. I can’t wait to see what ripple effects Tae being brave and honest (tho arguably rash and short-sighted) is going to create.

Great chapter. Looking forward to the next whether it’s next week or later! Take care and thank you for the update.
(Anonymous) on June 21st, 2015 08:47 am (UTC)
Re: YAAAS (24)!!
Sorry, misquoted Yul's line "present tense" line to Sun when it was really to Tae. XD
Thanks again, Bra! Great chapter!

-- YAAAS Anon
Re: YAAAS (24)!! - checkinyourbra on June 30th, 2015 07:33 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Anonymous) on June 21st, 2015 08:09 pm (UTC)
checkinyourbracheckinyourbra on June 21st, 2015 08:12 pm (UTC)

*not nervous*



*almost chokes on cherry pit*

sataengsminionsataengsminion on June 25th, 2015 05:16 am (UTC)


checkinyourbracheckinyourbra on June 30th, 2015 07:13 am (UTC)




razor_funkyduderazor_funkydude on June 26th, 2015 12:56 am (UTC)
you made me cry..... -__-

I can feel the anguish of Taeyeon so much... her dreams... herself shattered with Skandl losing it's originality.

why... so sad with what happened to them.

in spite of that Thanks for the update! :)
checkinyourbra: sooyoung01checkinyourbra on June 30th, 2015 07:15 am (UTC)
I-I made you cry?? FOR REAL?? D: awwwwwwww

Losing originality, her grasp of control and sense of self....it's a lot to take in. Her anguish is palpable, yes?

:((( I'm sad now. Kinda. :33

Thank youuuu for readingggg, bb. You'll cheer up soon enough!
yuukistar22yuukistar22 on June 28th, 2015 03:10 am (UTC)
*inserts 'bet you thought you'd seen the last of me' gif*
checkinyourbra: jessica02checkinyourbra on June 30th, 2015 05:43 am (UTC)
Hehehehhehe YES. Are you like: